Six old gentlemen were playing poker in the condo club house when one of them loses $500 on a single

Six old gentlemen were playing poker in the condo club house when one of them loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.Finally, one of them looks around and asks "Now, who is going to tell the wife?"They draw straws and one of them, the born-loser, picks the short one.They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is."Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet mensch you will ever meet. Discretion is mine middle name, leave it to me."He goes the the man's apartment, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.He declares "Your husband just lost $500."She hollers, "TELL HIM HE SHOULD DROP DEAD!"The man turns around and says, "I'll tell him."

Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father

Lil' Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses' legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Pop, why are you doing that?" "Because I'm thinking of buying these horses." Johnny looked worried, "Then I think we'd better hurry home right away!" "Why?" his father asked. "Because the UPS man stopped by yesterday, and I think he wants to buy Mom!"